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The rest of the movie is two hours (or ten) of so much more of what you’ve already seen, except more boring. The best part of the movie is when it’s glossed over that Harriet Tubman was part of an underground robot railroad. The best part of The Last Knight is when we get deep into the backstory of the Order of the Witwiccans (the human faction that guards the secret of Earth-bound Transformers) and learn that Harriet Tubman was a member. It’s not the worst Transformers movie (that goes to you, Last Knight!), but it does have to answer for having the worst legacy. Mikaela and Sam’s final run (and especially Fox herself) deserves better than cellar-dweller status, but Revenge of the Fallen just takes too much apologizing for with hindsight. A movie meant to be pure escapism just can’t be marred by misogyny, possible mistreatment of actors, and really obvious racism in its fun and crazy robot stars and still rise higher than the bottom of this list. Fox said she felt unsafe at points while filming Fallen - which the director mocked her for - and there was also her general discomfort with the way Bay filmed women. It was also the end of Fox’s run with the franchise, thanks to a broken relationship between her and Bay. Even too offensive for Michael Bay, the characters did not return for Dark of the Moon two years later. The Autobots Skids and Mudflap were like a cyborg minstrel show, functioning as the essentially “black” members of the bot group, complete with bucked teeth and plenty of jive talk. It’s insane.Īnd yet in other big ways, there’s a lot of Fallen better left to the cultural waste bin. The opening scene in Shanghai with the Demolisher bot, tearing through an industrial facility on a pair of gigantic truck wheels, is still a jaw-dropping spectacle, and the final battle in Egypt, which featured the Devastator Decepticon and his gargantuan vacuum mouth, is like a ballet of robot-on-man violence that is most remarkable for the fact that no one actually died on set while bringing it to life. We would have had one more movie to hear Fox yell “Saaaaaam!” in her very specific, perfect way.įallen also had some of the best action sequences of any of the Transformers movies. It was also the last time we would see Fox and LeBoeuf together as the one Transformers couple to rule them all, even though, in a more fair world, they would have rode out the original trilogy together as a beloved pair of star-crossed robot whisperers.

Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) and Mikaela Banes (Megan Fox) had their struggles, but damn it, those kids had a love more powerful than any Decepticon plan for intergalactic domination. In some ways, Revenge of the Fallen feels like it was a sadly under-loved Transformers movie. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) To determine the below ranking, I had to consider an array of factors for each entry: How magnificent were the action sequences? Which Transformers look the coolest? Do you have to regret enjoying this movie because the director did creepy things? Are there racist caricatures disguised as robots? Would you risk it all for each film’s two central characters? How many times did you cry at the sympathetic robot eyes? Is there a John Cena or a Mark Wahlberg? Taking all these criteria into account, here is your indisputable hierarchy of Transformers movies.ħ. Whatever Faustian deal Michael Bay made back in 2007 to acquire the most realistic CGI technology known to man has yielded a franchise that often feels like you’re watching real robots destroy real cities, and that Transformers-specific set of machine sound effects still fills me with joy after all these years.īut I am also an adult with self-awareness. They exist to sell toys and, increasingly, to cash in on Chinese box-office opportunities - and I have seen every single one in theaters because they are (almost) always an extremely fun time. These big, long, sometimes problematic, often dumb, always visually enthralling, and occasionally even emotionally stirring movies are the cinematic equivalent of a snack you can’t have in the house because you’ll just eat it all and feel ashamed. It’s been updated to include Transformers: Rise of the Beasts, now in theaters.Ī confession: I love the Transformers movies. This list was originally published in 2018.

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